I’m going to be honest.
I’m not feeling very positive lately.
And I hate that.
I don’t like feeling negative. I don’t like being frustrated with everything. I don’t like waking up and already feeling like I’m mentally exhausted before the day has even really started.
But here we are.
Lately, it feels like everything is hard.
Things that should be simple aren’t. Things that should work out don’t. And every time I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere, something else comes along.
And I’m tired.
Not necessarily the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep will fix, either.
Just tired of worrying. Tired of stressing. Tired of feeling like there’s always something else to deal with.
Sometimes I just want life to be a little easier. Is that really too much to ask?
❤️ I’m Tired of Trying to Find the Positive in Everything
I know we’re supposed to look on the bright side.
Find the silver lining.
Be grateful for what we have.
And I am grateful. I really am.
But sometimes I think people forget that you can be grateful for your life and still be unhappy with how certain things are going.
You can appreciate what you have and still wish things were different.
You can love your life and still have days when you don’t particularly like it.
And lately, I’ve been having more of those days than I’d like.
I don’t want to be negative.
I don’t wake up thinking, “You know what would be fun today? Being irritated by absolutely everything.” 😂
But sometimes that’s just where my mind goes.
And the more things pile up, the harder it becomes to pull myself out of it.
🖤 Why Does Everything Have to Be So Hard?
Seriously, though.
Why does it feel like everything requires so much effort?
It’s like you can’t just deal with one problem and move on.
Nope.
You solve one thing, and three more show up.
And then you’re expected to just keep going like nothing is happening.
Go to work. Handle your responsibilities. Pay your bills. Take care of everything. Smile. Be productive. Be positive.
Meanwhile, your brain is somewhere in the background screaming, “CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A BREAK?!”
Because that’s what I want.
A break.
Not necessarily a vacation or some huge life-changing experience.
Just a little breathing room.
A little peace.
A stretch of time where something isn’t constantly demanding my attention or making me worry about what comes next.
I don’t think that’s unreasonable.
🌙 I Miss Feeling Like Myself
I think one of the hardest parts about feeling negative is realizing that it’s not really who I want to be.
I like having fun.
I like laughing at stupid things.
I like getting excited about little adventures, decorating for Halloween, spending time with Eric, and being at home with our ridiculous little zoo.
I like having things to look forward to.
But when everything feels heavy, even the things you enjoy can start feeling like just another thing on the list.
And I hate that.
I don’t want to spend my days being irritated, worried, or waiting for the next problem.
I want to enjoy my life.
I want to feel excited about things again without having a million worries sitting in the back of my mind.
I want to feel like me.
And right now, I’m struggling with that a little.
❤️ I Don’t Need Someone to Tell Me to Just Be Positive
I know people usually mean well when they say things like:
“Just stay positive!”
“Everything will work out!”
“Don’t stress about things you can’t control!”
And I get it.
But sometimes those words don’t really help.
Because if I could simply turn off my worries and magically become a positive person again, believe me, I WOULD.
I’d flip that switch so fast. 😂
But feelings don’t work that way.
Sometimes you’re frustrated because things genuinely are frustrating.
Sometimes you’re overwhelmed because you have too much on your plate.
Sometimes you’re negative because you’ve been dealing with one thing after another, and you haven’t had much time to recover from any of it.
And sometimes you just need to say, “I’m having a hard time right now.”
Without someone immediately trying to fix it.
🖤 Maybe I Just Need to Stop Fighting How I Feel
I think sometimes I make things harder on myself because I get frustrated about being frustrated.
I’m already having a bad day, and then I start feeling guilty because I’m not being positive enough.
Which is honestly a ridiculous little cycle when you think about it.
I’m upset.
Then I’m upset that I’m upset.
Wonderful. Very productive. 😂
But maybe I don’t have to turn every negative feeling into a life lesson.
Maybe I don’t have to find something inspirational in every difficult situation.
Maybe some days I can just acknowledge that things are hard and I’m not handling them as well as I’d like.
That doesn’t mean I’ve given up.
It doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful.
And it doesn’t mean I’m going to feel this way forever.
It just means I’m human.
🌷 I Still Want Things to Get Better
Even though I’m not feeling particularly positive right now, I haven’t stopped wanting things to get better.
I still want to laugh.
I still want to make memories.
I still want to get excited about the little things.
I still want to enjoy the life I’m working so hard to build.
I just wish it didn’t feel like such an uphill battle sometimes.
And I don’t have some magical solution for that today.
I’m not going to pretend that writing this blog post suddenly fixed everything.
It didn’t.
The things stressing me out are still there.
The responsibilities aren’t going anywhere.
And I still have things I need to figure out.
But maybe getting some of these feelings out is a start.
Maybe I don’t have to solve every problem today.
Maybe I can give myself a little room to feel whatever I’m feeling without making myself feel worse about it.
❤️ So, That’s Where I’m At
I’m not writing this because I want sympathy.
I’m not writing it because I think my life is terrible.
And I’m definitely not writing it because I have all the answers.
I’m writing it because I know I can’t be the only person who sometimes feels like life is just one hard thing after another.
Maybe you’re feeling that way, too.
Maybe you’re tired.
Maybe you’re frustrated.
Maybe you’re doing your best, but your best doesn’t feel like enough right now.
I get it.
And I wish I had something profound to say that would make everything feel easier.
But I don’t.
Some days are just hard. Some seasons are harder than others. And sometimes we’re simply not feeling very positive.
I don’t think we have to pretend otherwise.
I’m hoping things start feeling a little lighter soon.
I’m hoping for some good news, some peace, and a few days where everything doesn’t feel so complicated.
But until then, I’m going to try to be a little kinder to myself.
Because being hard on myself isn’t going to make an already difficult season any easier.
And maybe that’s all I have to offer today.
I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I’m not feeling very positive.
But I’m still here, and I’m still trying. ❤️
